I also wanted to add in the fact that we should all love one another and being understanding and accepting of the things we don't understand. You never know what someone is thinking about or how hard things maybe for them. Everyone has their own threshold for life's hardships and each has its own limits. Always remember to check on those who maybe struggling.
I am not sure what I want to talk about or say I just know I need to write I need to kinda just get some of what I am feeling down and out of my head. I don't know if anyone else ever feels like that. Where you just have so much flying around and so many different emotions fighting to be out and you can't let any of them out except in short burst so you hope maybe writing them down will make it be a little easier to manage your emotions. I don't know sorry for rambling on. I am just really in my head lately. My husband and I are doing good so I mean there really is no issues there all tho I always seem to try to find a reason to argue so maybe he will leave and can be happy. I feel so worthless and empty lately. I look at my life and my age and how little progress I have made. In fact I think I am actually losing progress as I get older. I am like all over the place these days. I can't think straight its so hard to be around people even people I know. I am struggling really hard. The best part is I have a huge support system to talk to and I don't utilize it out of fear of annoying them will here is the best part of that. Even if they tell me I am not annoying them with my problems my brain still says that I am. So I am having a hard time and I feel I can't trust anyone like they might tell someone else and then everyone knows what I am going through even if I don't want them too. You know as you get older you start to see stuff you didn't before. Like maybe someone treats you really good but at the same time they are only do it so you will help them in some way. Its never just the fact that they loved you but out of obligation. I am feeling like this about someone I know and its kinda hurtful to think that they might just be using me. I can't tell them because it will hurt them even if it is true. This person is amazing and they have a lot to offer but they been so tied down in there own life that they have lost them self and they just have kinda let their past get in the way of their future. Its really sad to realize where some of the deep seeded issues are coming from and realizing the person never meant for it to be that way. I at least think they didn't. I also have been struggling with my diagnosis because I feel like I mainly cope pretty good I mean my coping skills are crap to say the least but I deal without having to take meds and even you are on meds then I am glad you found a healthy way of dealing. I tried meds and they didn't work for me and that is probably because I am inpatient or I just didn't want them to work. Sorry for such a long post. I am just really feeling a lot of strong scary emotions that I don't know how to deal with or control. I have become reliant on my husband that when he goes to work my anxiety skyrockets. I am losing myself in my mind and I am worried about everything lately. Its so hard to be unsure of whats next or how to deal with the unknown. I am gonna get through this though because we all will make it through are hardships if we remember to lean on someone or ask for help when we are falling. If you still keep up with my blog thank you and if you are new I hope some of what I have gone through helps you. Remember to push on and keep trying because we only lose when we stop trying.
I also wanted to add in the fact that we should all love one another and being understanding and accepting of the things we don't understand. You never know what someone is thinking about or how hard things maybe for them. Everyone has their own threshold for life's hardships and each has its own limits. Always remember to check on those who maybe struggling.
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June 2018
CategoriesAuthorI am Bridget I have PTSD and was recently diagnosed |