I am sure you can tell by the title I am feeling depressed and it's always kinda there but it just feels like it has all come down on me at once. I had my husband home today and it was good but I just can't help but feel like a failure. I honestly don't know why I feel this way I mean I kinda do but it's such a strong feeling to something I been feeling for a while. I feel like I want to cry. Maybe it's just to much on my mind 24/7 and never having a break I mean my thoughts seem to even act out in my dreams. I feel just so useless as a women and a wife. My husband thinks I am wonderful but I honestly don't feel I even come close to that. All this way stuff makes me frustrated as well and isn't helping my depression. I always thought getting pregnant would be easy but it's not at least not for and probably about half of the world. I feel for people who try for 10 years or more and aren't successful. I haven't been trying for even 5 years and I want to give up and say forget it but I can't because I know my husband wants it and he would make a wonderful dad. I just want to live the dream of being a parent and having a wonderful partner and I already have a wonderful partner. I also found out today that when I was younger I thought I was pregnant and so took the morning after pill to make sure I wouldn't be because my oldest sister told me I couldn't be a mom at my age and I was just a teen so I did what she said but my mom told me she would have helped me if I had been back then and it made me want to cry because what if it would have resulted in pregnancy and that was my only chance I would be devastated if I ever knew. I just feel all over the place my anxiety is getting to me and so is my depression so this is going to be short kinda I guess shorter then normal. I am going to bed hope you all have a great day or night.
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June 2018
CategoriesAuthorI am Bridget I have PTSD and was recently diagnosed |