I wish I had something happy and great to write about but I don't truth be told. I been having a hard time keeping my anger in check. The littlest of things piss me off and the main thing that is pissing me off is the fact that I am on provera for my pcos while its not working so now they have to find something else that might work for me. I have had the last few days with my husband and I feel so bad because I feel so annoyed. I am also having severe anxiety and I just finally got my anxiety pills today. I took one and its really not helping and I was told it should help right when I start it. It says to take as needed which also tells me it should help but its really not. I don't know I am so frustrated with everything right now. My mom is going for surgery on her neck on Monday I am so nervous about that. There is a 2% chance of her having a stroke while having the surgery so I really am hoping that doesn't happen and that she doesn't have a heartache either. I been losing some weight and I think that's mainly because I am so stressed out that I am barely eating anything. I have so much on my mind all the time. I am try to keep my mind off things but its hard. My counselor keeps asking me to do task before the next time I see her and I always end up forgetting to do it because I am constantly in a state where there is other things on my mind. The last person I am worried about talking care of is myself. I know that sounds horrible but its true I have always put myself on the back burner. I guess its because growing up I always felt I was least important and I don't think that was true but it sure did feel like it. I still feel like I am not getting the help I need with my mental illness or my pcos. I have to go see the obgyn in about a week and a half or so. I really don't like him and I wish my doctor could help me with my pcos but he doesn't know enough to help me out. Which I understand it just sucks because it seems like this obgyn doesn't know much either. I feel so frustrated with life especially since I am not sure if I am being treated for the wrong mental illness. I just wish I knew if I had bi polar or not. I just wish to much I think. I really am hoping that there is a light at the end of this crap tunnel but who knows for sure. I hope everyone else is keeping cool its quite hot here. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Sorry for complaining I just needed to get that all out.
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June 2018
CategoriesAuthorI am Bridget I have PTSD and was recently diagnosed |