So I am struggling super bad right now. I feel worthless and just like really down in a bottomless pit of darkness. I was going through ups and downs of having burst of energy then feeling kinda blah but now I am just really down and sleeping a lot and just not taking care of myself the way I was before and I just feel like I am stuck in a spot of anxiety and depression. It also doesn't help when the PTSD gets me when I am sleeping and I dream about being raped again by my abuser. I just feel like I am super lost and alone. I don't know what to do or how to get back on top and I know I been here before many of times but it doesn't make it any easier when it comes around again. I just wish I didn't feel this way no more and I just want to feel more like a person and not so much my diagnosis. It really doesn't help when my body is whacked out because my hormones are every where because I am a women and just seems like my hormones are constantly making things harder especially the older I get. I just feel so lost right now. I have my awesome husband, mom and sister but I just feel so down and I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to be happy and carefree and most of all I want to be healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. I don't know how to get there. Each time I get this way seems like I get farther into the depression and farther into feeling like its all to much. I also have a dental appointment tomorrow and a doctor appointment on the 31st and both have my anxiety really high and depressed and just like I am going to get yelled at and judged. I just hope everything will turn around. I hope everything is better for all of you. I am getting pretty tired again. I think I am going to take a nap. I will try to come update you all in a few days or weeks on how I am and hopefully I will be better.
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June 2018
CategoriesAuthorI am Bridget I have PTSD and was recently diagnosed |