I know its been a little while since I have written anything. I have times when I am really good about coming and writing and other times I am really bad at it. A lot has been going on in my life. My mom was suppose to have surgery but she ended up canceling it because its been so hot. I been suffering from really bad anxiety lately and my pills suck they are still not working and I am hardly sleeping and feeling exhausted 24/7 so I just feel unmotivated and just can't seem to get myself to get out of this depression. Anyway I wanted to talk about something that I am not sure if you have heard of or not. Its called project semicolon and its people getting a tattoo with a semicolon for those with depression, mental health issues and addiction and to support those who suffer as well. This young women started it after her father had committed suicide if you google project semicolon I am sure you will find a article to explain it a little better then me. Anyway I really want to get a tattoo of a semicolon for the reason I have suffered from all of those things and am currently suffering terrible from depression and been having a lot of suicidal thoughts. I had my husband home for a week about a week ago and I think it may have threw me off emotionally when he went back to work because I got use to having him home. So now I am trying to get back to normal which is super hard. On top of that my birthday is coming which for some reason is scaring me. I am going to be 25 so its kinda a big deal because to me it makes me think while in 5 years I will be 30 and if I don't have kids soon I will miss my chance and I feel like such a loser because I haven't done anything with my life. I guess I just feel really out of it and scared of everything in life. I sometimes wish my husband could be home with me 24/7 but I know that can't be and he has to work so we can have a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. I have my mom home all day with me but its not the same I just really wish that life was different. I feel really emotionally out of it lately and a lot of the time I feel like all my issues are something I have caused. I can't help but a lot of the time feeling like its in my head and I am pretty sure I have mentioned that before and I didn't realize that others had that issue to of feeling like its just in their heads but I think its all apart of the illness. I really hope people still come and read my blog and aren't bored with it. I know I am probably a crappy writer and whiner and I am so sorry for that. Anyway I hope you all have a wonderful day and are doing better then me if you are not may you find some relief soon.
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June 2018
CategoriesAuthorI am Bridget I have PTSD and was recently diagnosed |