Hey everyone! I know probably seems like I am doing great not so much. Feeling extremely stressed out and it's causing me to get frequent headaches. Our siding on our house is coming off from the stormy weather and my mom is having someone fix it for us but it's going to cost a lot of money and it has me stressed out really bad. I feel like I need to get a job even though it's probably a bad idea but I feel like there is no other way to lessen the burden. I am suppose to be seeing a doctor for fertility help but now I don't think that will happen and I feel so stressed out I want kids but feels like the time will never be right for it. My anxiety is bad but I have found I can hid it along with my depression. Oh yea I had a good friend surprise me yesterday and made me her women crush Wednesday and said some beautiful things. I have known her for a long time and we don't talk much but it's good to know I have support around me. But back to what I was saying because if you read my blog often you will see I do this a lot off track stuff. Anyway I am stressed out and been getting a lot of headaches lately and I don't know why this is happening. I been writing in my journal and stuff to try to lower my stress and depression but it's not helping. I also had to see my brother who was my abuser a few days ago to help my mom with something and it just gets me that he acts like everything is great and we should act like brother and sister. I didn't respond when he tried to talk to me but felt like I needed to get out of there asap. Which I did but I am able to act fine and I did this when I was a teenager and that's when things got dangerous for me because I started to try to end my life because I felt that was best. I know I am feeling this way again but I really can't do anything about it. I feel like I am the center of everyone's stress and it's a shit feeling. I wish there was easier ways to get thru things but there really isn't. I just end up feeling numb and alone and depressed. But anyway yea I guess that's it. Thanks everyone who reads this. Hope your day and life is going better then mine and if not remember it gets better.
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June 2018
CategoriesAuthorI am Bridget I have PTSD and was recently diagnosed |